A Sprout Grows In Manhattan

I hear people complain all the time about their inability to garden.  

"But I don't have a green thumb..." seems to be the cry.

But ANYONE can grow shit.

When I was a kid, my Aunt Joyce (my godmother and namesake) put some soil into a sunken basement window.  Then she bought some radish seeds.  Together, we sprinkled the seeds into the dirt, watered them, and waited.

And then one day she said, "Joyceee...I think those radishes are ready to pick.  Go get them, honey!"

As I harvested my radishes, she took this picture:

I was SO happy!

I made something!  And it was useful!  And you could eat it!  And everyone I knew and loved was proud of me!

It was the best feeling in the whole wide world.

Years later, when my little brother was at that age, I wanted to give that same feeling to him.

So we dug up a patch of dirt in our backyard, went to the nursery, picked up some seeds, planted them, watered them...

And then one day I said, "Bean..."

To this day, I still call my little brother "Bean".  Because when he was a baby, he was always jumping when I held him in my arms.  Like a jumping bean.

"Bean...I think those carrots are ready to pick.  Let's go see!"

And we did.

And then I took this picture:

My Little Farmer.  He looked SO surprised when he pulled on the leaves and an actual carrot came out of the ground.  And HE made it!  With his own two little hands!

As a big sister who was making plans to get away to make her own life, I grabbed every tiny opportunity I could to make some sort of imprint on his young life.

Because this was my brother.  This was a person I would spend the rest of my life with.  I wanted him to be someone I loved and who would love me, too.

Like any family, we were growing a life-long relationship on nothing but a bunch of seeds.

I often question my decision to live so far away from my family.  Lately, I question it almost every day.

This summer, my beloved baby brother is getting married.  To a woman my ENTIRE family loves and adores.

The day of the wedding, I will be so freaking happy!---but it will be hard to tell because I'll probably be sobbing and hugging people all damn day.

And then there will be wine...

I'm going to be a sobbing, hugging mess!

He and his fiance already live together with her daughter---and my new niece!

Like me, my future sister-in-law LOVES cooking and good food---and sometimes food that's so bad, it's good.  Having a meal with them is always a treat.

And now they have a garden!

Despite the fact that I live in the most fascinating city in the world---I REALLY envy that.

Because it's real.

It's there.  It's affordable.  It's reality.  It's not a pipe dream.  It's two people who love each other and are building a life together.  It's having someone there for you.  It's beautiful.  It's a garden of loveliness right in your backyard.

And it's real.

I have two waitress jobs, a pet fish, and a kitchen window with lousy light.

I know they say the grass is always greener.

But when you don't even have grass...

So I do what I can with what I've got.

And if a five year-old can grow shit---you can, too!

Lentil sprouts are DEE-licious!  They're crunchy and nutty and kind of tannin-y---I made that word up.

I can eat them raw two or three days old.  Just nibbling on them all day.  You can also sprinkle them on your favorite salad, toss them in a stir-fry, make a spicy cold Mediterranean salad or even cole slaw.  There are TONS of uses for them!

To grow them, you need two things---lentils and a container.

Fair warning:  The first time I tried this, my lentils did not sprout.  I was told that I had old lentils.

And what lady likes to hear that?

Any kind (except split lentils) will do.  I used black lentils this time.  

Honestly, I grow them year round.  But spring is the perfect time of year to get sprouting!

For a container, you want something that drains easily.  I use a classic glass and metal shaker that you see in your neighborhood pizzaria.  I got mine for $1.25 at the 99 Cents Store in Harlem on 125th and Frederick Douglass right next to the McDonalds.

Have I gone into that McDonalds?

Shut up.  Just shut up.

It was a rough brunch shift.  And the McDonalds doorman knows how to keep a secret.

Put just enough lentils to BARELY cover the bottom of your container.

Fill your container with water and leave it for about an hour.  Some say overnight.  Some say 24 hours.

I'm impatient.  I give it an hour.  Always works.

Then drain.

Put your container near a window.  Once or twice a day, fill your container with water, shake it up, and immediately drain/rinse and put it back.

That's IT!

In two days, you'll have sprouts.

I let this one go about five days so you could see the little leaves.

When your sprouts are the desired size, rinse them and put them in a plastic container in your refrigerator.  They'll stop sprouting and will keep for a few days.  

So stop whining about everything you DON'T have.  Go put some lentils in a jar and in a few days you'll have something REAL that you made with your own two little hands!

Seriously, why are you sitting here reading this?

Get off your butt and do this!

It's SPRING!  

Um...are you STILL sitting in front of your computer???

Don't make me take this outside....